What a headache

Literally. I have a headache. I guess it's from studying for my exam, which is in a week from now. I can't start explaining how much it makes me stressed. Writing a whole exam in German seems way beyond my abilities.

Anyway- that's the reason I'm not writing here so much, but after the exam I promise to give a nice update.

Till then- diving back to my books,

wish me luck.

Breaking the girl

In the past two weeks, since last time I wrote here, I've been especially trying to study from my correspondence university books. It's all in German, and it's really really hard for me. In the beginning it felt totally impossible, and slowly slowly it got a bit better. Now I can read about 8 pages a day. Which is obviously nothing!!! But it's a progress. I guess I'll have to let go of the dream of starting the Masters program in the next semester. There goes another 6 months of my life...

Last Friday we went to pick up our new closet. We got two two-doors closets and one commode (chest of drawers). We already built the one closet and the commode, and started building the second closet. The time was around 23:00. We wanted to quickly finish and finally have our own place to put clothes in. We started tilting the closet from the floor, in order to stand it up. We did it wrong, and the whole thing collapsed on the floor, making a huge mess and noise. The shelves broke the little holes they were in, making it impossible to rebuild it in the same way. The nice bar that it supposed to be in the bottom of the closet, just to make it look nice- broke to two pieces. Damn! it was a new closet!!! And it took so much time and energy to bring the things upstairs 6 floors!!!

I started crying. What else can go wrong in the place?! I felt nothing is going right here. I was totally devastated. Yes. Because of a damn closet. Sometimes it takes just one small thing to break the girl.

We build it again, using the "floor" and "ceiling" shelves as normal shelves, which resulted in a closet with no floor or ceiling. If you open it you see only 4 shelves in it, the ceiling of the room and the floor of the room. I really don't think it looks so nice. After a good night sleep, and a nice dream, in which I found the solution to the problem (get nice boxes to put on top of the higher shelf and under the lowest one), I felt a bit better about it.

Now I have to get used to opening a closet and choosing what to wear.

It's becoming a reality

This weekend we did nothing really. But the weekend before that- we were in Munich. We looked at 5 apartments. out of them there were only 2 that I would really move in to. One of them was too small and there were many people looking at it- so we had less chances to take it anyway. The second one was really nice. Big, airy, with lots of light, full and big kitchen, big bathroom, little storage room, big bedroom and a nice big living room. It's in a good location- right next to a subway station and next to a train station, the tram goes just on the road and there's everything we need in the area. It's in the attic of a building- which makes it really cosy too. But there's one catch. It's on the sixth floor. No elevator.

If you know me you're probably thinking to yourself: so she probably didn't take it. She wont take a place that's in the 4th floor without an elevator- so sixth???

Wrong. I did.

We liked it so much that we decided to do the deed. We'll take the chance.

Going up there three times showed me that it's possible. Just that it'll take me much longer to get home from the moment I got in the building, compared to this apartment that's in the second floor. And hey, worse case I'll be in better shape!

We thought that if we really hate it and can't do that anymore- then we'll look for a new place in a year or so. For now we like it.

***

Other than that there's nothing new. I still don't know how I'll get a visa after this one is done- but I guess I'll just take more German courses. That will give me some air for another 4-5 months.

Oh and I obviously passed my German exam- and got in to the university here in Dresden, which is really ironic- coz I don't really wanna study here, rather don't really wanna study this masters. I'm going to sign up anyway- coz this is what I have in my hands now, and I have time until the 30th of September to decide what to do with it.

so... Have a nice week you all,

I'm here- not doing much.

High maintenance

Thanks to Facebook, I got to be in touch again with ppl I haven't talked to in ages. Ages can be more than 10 years sometimes... In the last few weeks I've been telling at least 20 ppl from my past what's up with me nowadays. Some got the short version and some the longer one. Some asked more questions than others and some told me what they think about my life. They think that it's so exciting. It sounds so amazing and interesting and different. Even though there's so many Israelis that go abroad and live and learn and experience. On days like today I wonder if they're even close to the truth. I wonder how important these experiences are. I know it builds my personality, and learning languages and getting to know new cultures is something that I will thank in years from now. But on days like this one- I wonder what's the point in all that. Why today of all days? Well it's just another day I feel lost in the language. I feel that German is way too complicated to comprehend as an outsider. I feel there's no point sitting in class and learning the million grammar rules- if I don't feel that I can actually speak.
Having this kind of 'exciting' life needs very high maintenance: it starts with days you just wish you were in your homeland- coz of the weather, or the food, or the ppl, or the language, or how easy it is to do things - coz you really understand how to. It also brings you to a very lonely place sometimes, no matter how many ppl are around you, and even when the person that you love so much is just next to you. You are reminded on a daily basis that you are different. You are shown that if you just lay back, relax and basically do nothing- your feeling about the place will stay stuck where it is- coz you wont make any progress with the language, will not meet any new ppl to hang out with, and in the end- what's the point of being "somewhere else" if you don't get to taste everything that it brings with it? Changing your life and the place you live in so often, being a foreigner everywhere you go, speaking a language you don't really connect to, learning it without knowing exactly why, all these things really take a lot of my energy. I feel like I put myself on a very low flame, and there's hardly any energy coming through. The weather of course doesn't help. I don't hate it yet- it's cold but not too bad, but when you feel like there's no purpose to what you're doing, a sunny day can make you feel all better as if you were on Prozac...
German has such specific words. They have a different word for "rose by" and "rose to", they have a different word for "melts in your mouth" and just "melts". It feels so impossible to speak correctly- coz you know that you're probably using the wrong word. If there's too many options- you must choose the wrong one, no?
It feels that the ppl here are really like that sometimes. Everything is so precise- you have no gray zones to go to. No flexibility. none. The stereotypes are generally true. We call it being Jeke (pronounced: Yeke). Liking everything exact. Precise. Correct. Familiar. Not different. Just let me have my cup of coffee with exactly 138 grains of sugar in it, 2.67 ml of milk, and let it be a kind that I already know and like. It should be served to me at exactly 16:04. God forbid it's anything different. I will just die.
Of course I'm overreacting, but writing and overreacting goes together. I can't really explain to you these kind of things without exaggerating.
Going to make lunch. Hopefully will feel like writing more later. It helps. Me.

Trüber November

It means- gloomy November. It is gloomy. And dark. Sometimes, for a second, you get to see the little pieces of sky that are left up there... Most of the time you see white sky. Yes! it's white! not even gray- just one big foggy cloud. It rains most of the time, but we also had snow already on Saturday night. It melted after 2 hours, but since then precipitation was mainly rain mixed with hail mixed with snow that melted on the way down from the huge big cloud that we call "The sky".
That's it for the weather.
Now to more interesting things:
Yesterday I had my second Hebrew lesson- went really good. My boss (if I can call her that) said that I'm a real "Mashki'anit" which basically means in Hebrew- that I put a lot of effort into things. Well I just don't like to do half of a job. Or even 90% of a job. Especially when I'm the one standing in the spot light in the end- teaching the lesson- coz if I don't really invest in it before- I'm the one who's gonna be standing there and not knowing what to do.
While I was teaching the last group of the three, I noticed police cars outside, and noise. My boss opened the door and we saw a group of about 30 ppl, gathering in front of the place. Apparently
it was a group of German ppl who are Israel supporters and were there to mention the Kristallnacht. They played some Klezmer music, and had a small ceremony. They moved from one Jewish institute to another, the whole Sunday morning, even though it was close to freezing degrees outside and raining. They had speakers- and everyone around could hear them. It made me feel so good here. It was heart warming to see ppl in Dresden, the capital of Saxony, where the NPD (National Democratic Party in Germany, AKA the new Nazis) has most of their votes from, doing something like that.

And to a different subject: my mom and my sister booked a flight to come here!!! It's in ages from now (3 months) but I'm so excited!!! Yey!!! They're gonna be here for a whole week!

Other then that - my new class in German school is much better, my teachers are genuine and nice, and simply good teachers. Even though I must admit that there are times when I still feel like breaking something / someone just because I really have a hard time learning German... Especially when I have to write an essay. We're suppose to practice writing a short essay of about 120 words. Every teacher gives us a new topic every week- which means that we have to write 2 of them per week. Well... don't have to write- it's an option- but if we want to pass the final German exams- the ones that will determine if we get into uni in Germany- we should. Anyway, you're probably asking yourselves: what the hell is her problem? she's been writing and yapping here on this blog for so long now! what's her problem to write 120 words as an essay??? What's the problem you ask? The problem is that for a person like me, who most of the time has lots to say about just about almost anything, it's really hard to write when I don't have the vocabulary, or worse- the grammar to write in a foreign language. It feels like I have so much going on in my brain, and I always have so much to say about the topics they give us- but all these thoughts and ideas go through a very dense small holed net- and all my thoughts are being screened away. My head usually threatens to explode and at some point I bang on the desk, breathing in and out slowly to make the anger go away. I've been driving Rob crazy with questions like: "How do I say this?" or "What's better to say- this or that?" he can't do anything while I write my essays coz I totally suck him into my nutty little frustrated world.
*Sigh*
Hope it'll get better... At least I'm kinda enjoying my classes :-)

That's it for now, if I'll have anything to say- don't worry, you know me- I will!

My island of Sanity

People ask me why do we (Rob and I) not speak more German at home. I tell them that we try sometimes (which isn't a lie) but that mainly I am the kind of person that needs time to absorb the language slowly slowly. The main reason I don't really feel like speaking German at home is because home is my sanctuary. My island of sanity. The place where I can express myself in all kinds of ways, whether it's in English, or some words in Hebrew that Rob knows, or even a few words of Chinese, some inside jokes, and some mimics we use with each other. When we speak German I feel as if I'm in a classroom, not in my own comfortable home. I feel like a student, not like a girlfriend or just me. I feel like I'm being tested. Yes, I do learn a bit in those moments we actually try to speak German, but only as long as it's a few minutes that we both had decided to practice the language in. If suddenly I'll be surprised in my own home with this language- the only thing I'll wanna do is throw the person that did it out the window with his German words...
Outside I'm forced to use the language. I do rely on Rob a lot when it comes to doing all the talking everywhere, but slowly I do know what to say when someone asks me: "what would you like to drink?" and when Rob isn't around- I get along fine. I know myself better than all these "smart" ppl that wish to preach me on the right ways to learn a language. Thanks for your interest ppl, but I've been though a thing or two in my short life, and the last thing I need right now is another person to tell me how to do things. I know it comes from a good place, these ppl just want to help, and they think that sharing these so called 'unknown' pieces of information helps me so much. Well ppl, it doesn't.

The Do's and Don'ts for a friend of a person learning a new language:
(written in male- but obviously refers to women too)

1. First and foremost ask your friend if he's even interested in your help.
2. Then you can ask in what way you can help. For example: you can speak the language to him more often, or just check his homework, you can help him write a diary in the new language, you can translate to him things ppl say around him- so he still hears the language but also is involved in the conversation.
3. After your friend told you the ways he would like you to help him, try to keep to these things, don't take more initiative- remember- each person has his own pace.
4. Be extremely patient! The last thing someone like your friend needs is someone sitting on his tail to make him learn faster or better.
5. Listen to him. Sense when he's getting lost in the language, and pay attention when he had enough and all he wants to do is express himself in his own language or just English.
6. Try to understand: for some ppl languages are hard to learn and for some it comes easily, but even those ppl are still human beings, and that means that in some level- they do not like feeling stupid. Interpret that anyway you like- just keep it in mind.
7. Let your friend know that he's more than welcomed to make mistakes. One thing I learned from teaching English as a second language was that it gives ppl a great sense of accomplishment if they can have a whole conversation in the language they're learning. Don't correct their mistakes while they speak!!! Try to remember what they said wrong and let then know about it later. To any mistake they make- let them know what was wrong- and what is right.
8. One of the things you can do is learn the grammar rules of your own language. At least enough to know how to answer your friends questions.
9. You are not a teacher- these tips are only for a friend - close friend who wants to help. Remember that yourself- you are not a teacher (But if you are a teacher - remember that this isn't a student of yours- it's a friend- big difference).
10. Appreciate the fact that this person in front of you is trying to learn your own language. I can speak only for myself- but I always feel honored when ppl want to learn Hebrew- my mother tongue, even though I didn't invent it or have no ownership on it- it makes me appreciate ppl who want to learn it - and that changes the way I feel about them.

* One more thing that I thought about tonight (just came home from a nice night out): most ppl learn best from just being exposed to the language - as long as you speak correctly next to them - they will learn a lot - even if you don't intend on "teaching" at the moment. And something about slang: it's always nice to know what words mean in slang- especially these words that mean something totally different in the "normal" language- so - don't be afraid to use slang and contemporary language.

** Adding this after a night out of speaking a lot of German:
A nice method to teach the right way of speaking in a certain language is to reflect what the other person said but without the mistakes. Meaning- don't stop the person in the middle of the sentence to correct his mistake, and you even don't have to tell him he made one- just say what he said, but this time correctly.
For example:
Learner: "I spoked to her last night......"
Teacher: "Yeah I know, and when I spoke to her she said....."

Autumn and some arts and crafts

Autumn. My first real one as an adult (since we lived in the states). I have to admit that I like the word "Fall" much better. It describes it so well. It's cold in this country. It's still not too cold for me- but when I look outside, or when I am outside- I realize that this is only the preview for winter. It's gonna get much colder. On the bright side- we already turned on the heating a bit at home. I like living in a house with good heating. It's such a relief. So here are pictures of what I see from our bedroom window nowadays:

Look at all these nice colors.
It's a shame they predict
a very long and deadly sleep.

In a few months all these trees will be naked,
and the scenery will look like
a black and white picture
(if we're lucky enough to have snow).

***

I got an old desk from Rob's parents- to use it for studying. It was painted green and it looked hmmm lets say- not so much to my taste... Rob and I scratched it till our hands almost fell off, and then I painted it with 3 layers of bright paint. You can still see the bits of green that we couldn't take off- but only if you really look closely. Here's a picture of the finished product:

I used Mosaic squares for the decoration.

So as you can see now I have my own corner to work on and sit next to. And study.... I have to study. German is not just hard. It's complicated and stupid. I must say that until now it's my least favorite language from the 5 I ever learned... Too many rules. Tomorrow I have a private lesson with my x-German teacher, she's so nice- I asked her if she is interested in giving me some grammar lessons before I start the next course.

***

It's Rob's birthday tomorrow. I'm going to bake him a cake in the oven his mom got him for his bday. Happy birthday sweety!

First day of school and pics

Today was my first day in school!!! I started learning German- and I had a great day!!! We are 5 in the class (3 might still join us- but they didn't show up today) and the teacher is really nice and young. I already made friends with a Mexican girl, who's here with her husband who's doing a Phd here and their 2 year old daughter. It takes me about 45 min door to door in the morning, and i have to change from the bus to the tram once, but it's easy changes, and in general it's really nice- especially when the weather is so nice outside... I keep comparing it to Shanghai- where I had to get up at 06:30 to be at school at 08:00... Here I only leave the house at 08:10, and start at 09:00...

***

I promised pictures from last week, so I'll give it one more try:

Angles on the Brühlsche Terasse
that is on the Elbe river
in Dresden

View from the Brühlsche Terasse
to the Elbe, Dresden


Kunsthof Passage,
Neustadt, Dresden


on the Elbe in Kurort Rathen,
in Swiss Saxony
about half an hour train ride from Dresden


Middle aged bridge
on the Bastei


View from on top of the Bastei to the Elbe

***

That's it for now, I'll try to take more pictures of this beautiful city in these nice days...

Got it!

Yesterday I got my students visa!!! 2 stickers on 2 whole pages in my passport (great, now I need a new one...) I'm legal here!!! (not that I wasn't before but it's nice to say...).
I also got a SIM card, and now I have my own phone number... Nice to be normal.

***

On Wednesday Rob's sister came here for a visit with an American friend of hers. They're travelling around Germany together, both before going to uni. We travelled around Dresden with them the same afternoon they came (the weather was so nice) and the next day, Rob stayed home and studied while us three went to the Bastei- old ruins of a fort, from the middle ages, in Swiss Saxony- half an hour train ride from here. It was a beautiful day, and except for choosing the wrong shoes (why do I always do that???) and hurting my feet badly on the way down hill, it was really nice. The pictures wouldn't upload now for some reason- so I'll put them here some other time- promise...

***

I'm starting my German course on Monday- hope it'll be good... Hope I will be good...

***

Today was really warm, and now all of a sudden it started getting really windy, and rainy, and the worst thing is the thunders and lightnings... scary...