Last year, on New Year's Eve, I was on a mountain in Czech Republic with Rob and about 15 of his good friends from all over the world (well- mostly Europe- but other places too...). I arrived to Germany the day after x-mas to be with him for about a week. 2 or 3 days later we drove to Czech Republic and there he taught me how to ski. It was the first time that I ever skied in my life (not counting the time I was 5 in the states- freezing in the kids group, where mom and dad left me to "learn" too...). I'm known as a not very sporty person, and only in the last 6 years or so I do sports on an almost regular basis (gym and Yoga) and that's especially coz of the mental change in me. This mental change was probably the grounds for falling in love with skiing- something I'm sure I wouldn't have liked 10 years ago. I must admit- I'm a bit of a coward when it comes to heights and mountains- and my ability to ski down a hill full of trees- but I proved that I can do it- and even enjoy it (providing some good weather of course- try skiing in Mount Hermon in Israel- there's either bad weather and snow or good weather and no snow - which means you either ski and hate it or not ski and hate it). I'm sure that if Rob had written here he would say that skiing with me can be a really hard job- coz it involves a lot of my complaining (well- if you knew him you'd know that he'll never say that to anyone- but I know that I've complained a hand full to him at least the first few times we skied together).
There's something in me that never lets me rest till I feel like I'm good enough. Good enough doesn't mean "the best" it just means that till I'm rather complete with how I'm doin something - I wont feel comfortable to do it next to ppl who are good. That's why in the beginning when Rob taught me how to ski - I felt so insecure. First of all- he skies since he's about 2-3 years old, and all of his family skies. His mom grew up between the Austrian Alps, and his parents met skiing, which says it all (what can I say I grew in to? my parents met in the Israeli army... LOL) anyway- to make things short- I felt like I know nothing about something he's an expert in- and that made me really scared that I will just not be good enough. Rob was the knight in shining armor he really is- and was the perfect teacher and gentleman. I even asked him at a certain point on the top of the mountain (while having the most sour face a person can have- from being so scared going down) how is it possible that he tolerates me at all- and that he deserves a medal. I only remember one time he frowned - for about 5 minutes of the whole 3 days. In March we were skiing in Austria in the best weather ever- and I was a bit more experienced- which made the whole thing so much better- and so great.
I remember what my mom said when I told her that I'm going skiing in the Hermon for the first time (I wanted to practice what Rob had taught me). I had to get up at 5am to get there at 8am so I have as much time as possible to ski. I told her how cold it is- and how hard it is for me- and the only thing she said was: "so why do you do that to yourself?" There at that point exactly I realized where my laziness comes from- it comes from the fear to harm myself in anyway - the fear to not enjoy and the fear to suffer even just a little bit. What, I guess, I wasn't told for most of my life was that suffering a bit can bring to a big joy (as long as I don't do it to harm myself or of course- anyone else) and pointless fear is something that stops you from living - not something that keeps you alive. It's amazing how one little thing like skiing can make you understand all that- and give you a big feeling of accomplishment and joy.
We're planning on going skiing in China in February in the Chinese Spring Festival. I hope all is gonna go well (still waiting for the reply from the travel agent) and that I wont freeze to death there (it's gonna be about minus 20°c) - but I got lots of presents from Rob that he brought me from Germany- that are suppose to keep me warm even in this kinda weather.
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This New Year's Eve we spent in Hangzhou. I liked it so much the first time I went there that I asked him if he wants to go first thing after he lands. He said it's no problem and we went. We spent the evening with the new friends I made last time I was there - and it was a really nice night. Hangzhou is relatively colder than SH (I guess coz it's more humid) and we did spend a lot of time in doors - but we really enjoyed our little vacation - and for me it was a refreshment from life.
I wonder where I'll be next year on the same day... I like spending it every time in a different country!!!
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