Like growing another body part

Yes, I love my baby. And yes, I loved him before he was ever born. In a way. But what isn't obvious is learning to love your new born and leaving space for the other loved ones in your life.

They say the first year of the first born, and actualy of every new baby in the family, is very hard on the parent. The many changes in life, the responsibility, the tiredness, the life changing decisios they need to make, the uneven number 3 that comes in the place of the perfectly ballanced number 2.

They are all right. It's not easy.
The key word is communication. But it's easier said than done. When you don't have much time with your partner alone, the last thing you want to do is talk about the problems and going through them. Sitting together on the couch, watching your favorite tv show is much nicer. But that doesn't help, when the next arguement comes along. Then you tell yourself: why did I not share my feelings last time we disagreed about it?

It takes time to learn the new game's rules. It's a new land for both parents, and they both need to find their way in it and draw their own map. Then they both have to not forget eachother in this map, and learn from eachothers drawings. And third they need to remember that this map is very likely to be changed every day, by the baby, the other parent and by life itself, which brings a new challange on a regular basis.

And what does all this have to do with the titel?
So you love your baby. That's great. And your love grows every day. Every time you look at him. That's super. But the real task is to let your heart grow, so that you can have the same amount of love for both your partner and your baby. And that is like growing another body part. Or just like making your heat bigger. That's what it feels like to me.

It's amazing that ppl can do that.
And yes, we can.