Nobody counts a baby's age in weeks as soon as the baby is 2, 3 monthes old. However, one theory on babies' development describes the usual mood of a child in every week of his or her first year alive.
We've now entered week 52.
Soon it'll be a year since I went into labor, and thinking about that day makes me very excited and emotional. I can almost feel the thrill of that evening. It was one of the most amazing nights I've ever had, if not the most.
I would do it all over again.
And now, watching this baby grow, is not less exciting.
I can't wait for his birthday, I want him to feel the happiness we feel about him beeing in our lives.
By the way, these kitschi words were written after a few days of not much sleep, and an evening of trying to get this little one to go to bed on time, without success.
I still love it.
Thursday, December 01, 2011
Friday, November 11, 2011
Like growing another body part
Yes, I love my baby. And yes, I loved him before he was ever born. In a way. But what isn't obvious is learning to love your new born and leaving space for the other loved ones in your life.
They say the first year of the first born, and actualy of every new baby in the family, is very hard on the parent. The many changes in life, the responsibility, the tiredness, the life changing decisios they need to make, the uneven number 3 that comes in the place of the perfectly ballanced number 2.
They are all right. It's not easy.
The key word is communication. But it's easier said than done. When you don't have much time with your partner alone, the last thing you want to do is talk about the problems and going through them. Sitting together on the couch, watching your favorite tv show is much nicer. But that doesn't help, when the next arguement comes along. Then you tell yourself: why did I not share my feelings last time we disagreed about it?
It takes time to learn the new game's rules. It's a new land for both parents, and they both need to find their way in it and draw their own map. Then they both have to not forget eachother in this map, and learn from eachothers drawings. And third they need to remember that this map is very likely to be changed every day, by the baby, the other parent and by life itself, which brings a new challange on a regular basis.
And what does all this have to do with the titel?
So you love your baby. That's great. And your love grows every day. Every time you look at him. That's super. But the real task is to let your heart grow, so that you can have the same amount of love for both your partner and your baby. And that is like growing another body part. Or just like making your heat bigger. That's what it feels like to me.
It's amazing that ppl can do that.
And yes, we can.
They say the first year of the first born, and actualy of every new baby in the family, is very hard on the parent. The many changes in life, the responsibility, the tiredness, the life changing decisios they need to make, the uneven number 3 that comes in the place of the perfectly ballanced number 2.
They are all right. It's not easy.
The key word is communication. But it's easier said than done. When you don't have much time with your partner alone, the last thing you want to do is talk about the problems and going through them. Sitting together on the couch, watching your favorite tv show is much nicer. But that doesn't help, when the next arguement comes along. Then you tell yourself: why did I not share my feelings last time we disagreed about it?
It takes time to learn the new game's rules. It's a new land for both parents, and they both need to find their way in it and draw their own map. Then they both have to not forget eachother in this map, and learn from eachothers drawings. And third they need to remember that this map is very likely to be changed every day, by the baby, the other parent and by life itself, which brings a new challange on a regular basis.
And what does all this have to do with the titel?
So you love your baby. That's great. And your love grows every day. Every time you look at him. That's super. But the real task is to let your heart grow, so that you can have the same amount of love for both your partner and your baby. And that is like growing another body part. Or just like making your heat bigger. That's what it feels like to me.
It's amazing that ppl can do that.
And yes, we can.
Saturday, November 05, 2011
What is work
It's been a year since I stopped working. In Germany you go on maternity leave 6 weeks before your due date. In the end I gave birth about a month after leaving work.
It is kind of amazing that still nowadays ppl ask me "so... What do you do all day?" and it's not only men who ask that. Some friends also asked me if I don't go crazy at home with my son for so long.
Well. What do ppl who work in an office do all day? Sit on their chairs and stare at the computer? Talk on the phone? How is that more productive or worth more than taking care of a child? Let me ask something else: why do we call it a job, when a person gets money for it (nanny, kindergarten teacher, care taker) but a person who stays home with their child "doesn't work"?
Those were my thoughts for the anniversary of my maternal leave.
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Not ready to let go
I see now, that the last post I've published, was on February 23rd. Wow. That's a long long time ago. I'm really not ready to let go of this blog. Although I hardly write here.
So what's new?
My baby is growing and growing. He started crawling at 7 months. It was when we were in Israel for a few weeks. Since then he improved so much and is really quick.
We moved. To a new apartment, in the same area in Munich. This time there are no stairs to climb. It's on the ground floor.
Liya, my good friend, whom you might remember from my posts from Shanghai, also moved to Munich, and I really hope we'll see eachother often.
I'm writing this post from my ipod touch. Don't know if it's the 1st time I do this, but I hope I would use it more often for this purpose.
I'm now in Israel, came here for my friend's wedding. Going home tomorrow. We've been on the road a lot this summer, and with a baby it's not easy. Now all I have is the flight back home, and I'm hoping to not travel much in the next few months.
I got some really nice comments on the blog lately, and that gave me the push to write again. So thanks for that.
So what's new?
My baby is growing and growing. He started crawling at 7 months. It was when we were in Israel for a few weeks. Since then he improved so much and is really quick.
We moved. To a new apartment, in the same area in Munich. This time there are no stairs to climb. It's on the ground floor.
Liya, my good friend, whom you might remember from my posts from Shanghai, also moved to Munich, and I really hope we'll see eachother often.
I'm writing this post from my ipod touch. Don't know if it's the 1st time I do this, but I hope I would use it more often for this purpose.
I'm now in Israel, came here for my friend's wedding. Going home tomorrow. We've been on the road a lot this summer, and with a baby it's not easy. Now all I have is the flight back home, and I'm hoping to not travel much in the next few months.
I got some really nice comments on the blog lately, and that gave me the push to write again. So thanks for that.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
under the weahter
Although the sun is shining at the moment, the weather is not great. It's really cold outside, and it seems like winter has decided to come back big time after not really doing a good job in February.
Taking the baby out in this weather is not really nice, I don't like packing him with a million layers, because he absolutely hates it, and going in and out of stores for example is a nightmare, since the difference in temperatures is way too big.
This doesn't agree with my need to go out and breath some fresh air once a day, see the world and go out of my cocoon. People I urge you to give birth in spring or summer!
My mood is also a bit swingy at the moment. Sometimes I feel really good and then it takes only one word from someone and I feel crappy again.
But the baby is sweet. It's hard being with him alone the whole day, but he's so cute and nice that I feel blesses with that.
knock on wood X 3
Taking the baby out in this weather is not really nice, I don't like packing him with a million layers, because he absolutely hates it, and going in and out of stores for example is a nightmare, since the difference in temperatures is way too big.
This doesn't agree with my need to go out and breath some fresh air once a day, see the world and go out of my cocoon. People I urge you to give birth in spring or summer!
My mood is also a bit swingy at the moment. Sometimes I feel really good and then it takes only one word from someone and I feel crappy again.
But the baby is sweet. It's hard being with him alone the whole day, but he's so cute and nice that I feel blesses with that.
knock on wood X 3
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
One hand wizard
When you have a baby a lot of things in your life, things that were obvious, get a special meaning, and show you how easy you had it before.
The most known thing is your sleep: until you have to wake up 3-4 times a night (if you're lucky) you don't even think about how great it is to sleep for 6 hours straight. Hey, 6 hours were usually not enough! Now just give me 4 hours of sleep and I will be your biggest fan. Oh, and my baby is a really nice one, the kind that (usually, except for last night) falls asleep right away after eating.
Another thing that used to be obvious and taken for granted is having two hands to do all the things you do during the day. When your baby prefers being on you, and starts screaming when you leave him somewhere else, and putting the baby carrier on you is too much effort for the few things you want to do, that's how your life looks like.
Examples? Making breakfast with one hand. Imagine holding a baby (who's getting heavier by the day), and making porridge at the same time.
More examples? Doing and hanging the laundry, with only one hand. Folding it too.
Making tea.
Eating.
And hey, even writing this post!
So as you can understand, I've become a one hand wizard. Slowly but safely there will be nothing I can't do with only one hand!!! (and very little sleep).
The most known thing is your sleep: until you have to wake up 3-4 times a night (if you're lucky) you don't even think about how great it is to sleep for 6 hours straight. Hey, 6 hours were usually not enough! Now just give me 4 hours of sleep and I will be your biggest fan. Oh, and my baby is a really nice one, the kind that (usually, except for last night) falls asleep right away after eating.
Another thing that used to be obvious and taken for granted is having two hands to do all the things you do during the day. When your baby prefers being on you, and starts screaming when you leave him somewhere else, and putting the baby carrier on you is too much effort for the few things you want to do, that's how your life looks like.
Examples? Making breakfast with one hand. Imagine holding a baby (who's getting heavier by the day), and making porridge at the same time.
More examples? Doing and hanging the laundry, with only one hand. Folding it too.
Making tea.
Eating.
And hey, even writing this post!
So as you can understand, I've become a one hand wizard. Slowly but safely there will be nothing I can't do with only one hand!!! (and very little sleep).
Monday, January 31, 2011
Walking in the Air
Dancing with my baby in the apartment, just to entertain him and have some fun together, fills me with such happiness, it feels like walking in the air.
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