Why am I so sad?

I have the answers to this question.

Not getting in to the program I wanted puts me in a very hard place.
First of all, I have to re-think about what I want to do with my life.
I thought that this program is what I wanted to do.
I thought that this program will make me what I want to become.
I thought that this is what I am interested in.
I thought that this is what is good for me.
I thought that this is what I'm going to be good at.
I thought that this is what I'm going to be.
I thought that this is what I am.

On top of that now, I have to figure out how I'm going to be able to stay here in Germany.
Without studying I'm not going to have a visa.
According to the law I am allowed to learn German one more year, and stay here with that visa.
The problem is that I did already almost all the German levels offered and I only have one more left to do. After that who knows what I'll do.

I hate being hung in the air like that. High and dry.

Don't know who I am anymore.
What I wanna do.
How I'm going to stay in the place I call home?