Love is all you need

Yesterday evening I was sitting at home after coming back from Yoga, eating my dinner and chatting to my sister online. Rob wasn't online, so I thought he's still in the lab and that I'll get to talk to him a bit later. Suddenly I heard a key in the door. My heart dropped. I thought it's somebody breaking in, but who would break in with a key??? And who has a key to our place other than us (no one...)???

I went slowly to the entrance, scared to see who it is, what it is, and then....

I saw Rob opening the door...

He wanted to come home to be with me, simple as that.

Be with me when it's all sad.

He even came with me to the ultimate chick flick: "Sex and the City - the Movie". I was supposed to see it with a friend, but when he came I convinced him to come along, coz I really wanted to see it, but at the same time didn't wanna leave him at home when he came all the way for me.

So... nothing changed really, I'm still all confused, still sad, still feel insecure.
But.... I feel much more relaxed knowing he's there.

Why am I so sad?

I have the answers to this question.

Not getting in to the program I wanted puts me in a very hard place.
First of all, I have to re-think about what I want to do with my life.
I thought that this program is what I wanted to do.
I thought that this program will make me what I want to become.
I thought that this is what I am interested in.
I thought that this is what is good for me.
I thought that this is what I'm going to be good at.
I thought that this is what I'm going to be.
I thought that this is what I am.

On top of that now, I have to figure out how I'm going to be able to stay here in Germany.
Without studying I'm not going to have a visa.
According to the law I am allowed to learn German one more year, and stay here with that visa.
The problem is that I did already almost all the German levels offered and I only have one more left to do. After that who knows what I'll do.

I hate being hung in the air like that. High and dry.

Don't know who I am anymore.
What I wanna do.
How I'm going to stay in the place I call home?

I'm (left) out

I didn't get in.

This is one of the saddest moments of my life.

The university in Munich didn't accept me.
They said there were many more high qualified applicants.
About a 100. And they only take 30.

This is one of the saddest moments of my life.

I'm so disappointed.

And we have to move there anyway.
Because of me Rob signed a contract for three years to do a PhD there.
I have to move, and I don't want to.
And it's all because of me.

This is one of the saddest moments of my life.

This weekend we're going to look at apartments in Munich.
And I didn't get in.
But I have to move anyway.
And have to find a place to live there anyway.
And have to leave this place in Dresden, which I love so much.

This is one of the saddest moments of my life.

Discovering the value of time

Yesterday I had to do a presentation in my German class. Each one of us had to do one, about something that has something to do with what they're going to study next year. I had to choose a subject in "Education" and I chose "Motivation". I prepared for it quite well and it went really nicely too. I realized (already when I did my first one in the other class I have) that the fact that I have so much experience in teaching and standing in front of a group really helps in life, and not just in these situations.

Since I had to prepare for this, I didn't meet all my girlfriends this week, so I had some time to spend alone. Which was really nice too. Just to realize that I actually do have time to do things, and only coz I insist on meeting 2-3 friends a week (sometimes more) on top of going to yoga twice, on top of uni- that's what makes life so exhausting. But it also helps life look much much nicer.

So now, a week before my German exam (which I'm doing nothing to study for) not having anymore Hebrew lessons (last Sunday was the last one, it's the summer vacation now) I had time to do some arts and crafts, and here's what came out of it:

It's a newspaper holder.



I bought the wooden naked thing in the hobby shop and decorated it myself

and here it is in more details:

and from on top:

Hope I'll do some more things like that in the time I'll have after the exam...

Oh and I still didn't get the answer from Munich.... Hope it gets here next week...

Have a great weekend and week everyone!