I was going to post this on Facebook, but I chickened out.
I don't think it's the right platform.
So I'll just spill it here.
Nothing prepares you for being the mom of "that" kid. The one who doesn't blend in.
Not even being that kid yourself.
Nothing prepares you for not being understood. Nothing prepares you for realizing, nobody cares. You are alone in this.
Nothing prepares you for losing social contacts because of this.
Tuesday, November 27, 2018
Sunday, October 28, 2018
The price of having a different child
On the surface everything looks normal.
Happy family with 3 kids.
We are mostly happy.
But I don't feel normal.
You see, my son is not very normal. At least to other people's standards.
He has a hard time fitting in socially. He is very sensitive and tends to overreact very quickly.
He learned to control himself a lot.
He's doing his best.
But that is sometimes not enough.
I can go on and on about it, but right now what hurts me most is the fact that we, his family, are losing friendships over this.
People stay away. Even people we considered good friends.
I'll never be able to prove they took a step back because of not being able to deal with his behavior.
But I know it. I just do.
The pain is real and the thought of never being able to make new friends who also care about us as a whole family, hurts.
We move a lot. Therefore we have to make new friends everywhere we go, every few years. It's hard enough to do that as is, it's a hundred times harder when you have a special child.
Our energy is very often spent on helping him out, at school, with other kids etc. We have two more daughters who also need our attention. And so, outside relationships are much harder to maintain. We try. We are both very social people and we need friends just as much as we need family.
Which makes it all even worse. Seeing new people who find us interesting and nice, turn their backs on us and cool down, call less, invite less, cut us out.
Happy family with 3 kids.
We are mostly happy.
But I don't feel normal.
You see, my son is not very normal. At least to other people's standards.
He has a hard time fitting in socially. He is very sensitive and tends to overreact very quickly.
He learned to control himself a lot.
He's doing his best.
But that is sometimes not enough.
I can go on and on about it, but right now what hurts me most is the fact that we, his family, are losing friendships over this.
People stay away. Even people we considered good friends.
I'll never be able to prove they took a step back because of not being able to deal with his behavior.
But I know it. I just do.
The pain is real and the thought of never being able to make new friends who also care about us as a whole family, hurts.
We move a lot. Therefore we have to make new friends everywhere we go, every few years. It's hard enough to do that as is, it's a hundred times harder when you have a special child.
Our energy is very often spent on helping him out, at school, with other kids etc. We have two more daughters who also need our attention. And so, outside relationships are much harder to maintain. We try. We are both very social people and we need friends just as much as we need family.
Which makes it all even worse. Seeing new people who find us interesting and nice, turn their backs on us and cool down, call less, invite less, cut us out.
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