Transparent

This year was not supposed to be about me.
It was planned to he about him.
Knowing that ahead still doesn't help me now.
I feel transparent.
I explain what bothers me, how I feel, and he takes it as criticism.
I'm sick of arguing in circles.
I want to see the light in the end of my dark tunnel, he sees it as if he's doing his best to take us to a desirable direction.
I don't relate to this style of living at all. This is what he longs for.
I want to learn to be satisfied with less, for him nothing is enough. More is better.

I'm looking for the restart button.

Tell me where home is

I chose this as the name of the domain, because I don't have an answer to that.
I don't really feel at home anywhere, but I also get used to where I am at every place we live. Kind of at home.

It feels like a huge hole in my heart.
I can't tell where I would feel 100% comfortable, and I know there's no 100%. Every place has advantages and disadvantages.
Still for most people, there's this one, maybe two places, they can say they'd prefer living in.

It feels so lost.

New place

I haven't written in ages.
I felt like everything I write is being analyzed and judged by the ppl I know who read this blog.
So I wrote less and less.
And life also didn't leave much time or power to sit and write.
Especially not the kind of writing that needs a constant attention to every word, being careful I don't offend anyone, or tell too much about them, in a way that invades their privacy.

So I changed the name of the domain.
And changed my username.

I'm not going to write here what the old domain used to be, or my old username, to not connect the two, but it's still the same old blog, with all the posts.

And this change also comes in a time of changes in my life.
We moved. Again. To another country.
This year we're living in France.
New place, new adventures, new people, new everything.

I'll try to write more often, now that the 'censorship' problem is over, I hope I feel more free to write, and maybe even collect some new readers on the way.