It's becoming a reality

This weekend we did nothing really. But the weekend before that- we were in Munich. We looked at 5 apartments. out of them there were only 2 that I would really move in to. One of them was too small and there were many people looking at it- so we had less chances to take it anyway. The second one was really nice. Big, airy, with lots of light, full and big kitchen, big bathroom, little storage room, big bedroom and a nice big living room. It's in a good location- right next to a subway station and next to a train station, the tram goes just on the road and there's everything we need in the area. It's in the attic of a building- which makes it really cosy too. But there's one catch. It's on the sixth floor. No elevator.

If you know me you're probably thinking to yourself: so she probably didn't take it. She wont take a place that's in the 4th floor without an elevator- so sixth???

Wrong. I did.

We liked it so much that we decided to do the deed. We'll take the chance.

Going up there three times showed me that it's possible. Just that it'll take me much longer to get home from the moment I got in the building, compared to this apartment that's in the second floor. And hey, worse case I'll be in better shape!

We thought that if we really hate it and can't do that anymore- then we'll look for a new place in a year or so. For now we like it.

***

Other than that there's nothing new. I still don't know how I'll get a visa after this one is done- but I guess I'll just take more German courses. That will give me some air for another 4-5 months.

Oh and I obviously passed my German exam- and got in to the university here in Dresden, which is really ironic- coz I don't really wanna study here, rather don't really wanna study this masters. I'm going to sign up anyway- coz this is what I have in my hands now, and I have time until the 30th of September to decide what to do with it.

so... Have a nice week you all,

I'm here- not doing much.

Love is all you need

Yesterday evening I was sitting at home after coming back from Yoga, eating my dinner and chatting to my sister online. Rob wasn't online, so I thought he's still in the lab and that I'll get to talk to him a bit later. Suddenly I heard a key in the door. My heart dropped. I thought it's somebody breaking in, but who would break in with a key??? And who has a key to our place other than us (no one...)???

I went slowly to the entrance, scared to see who it is, what it is, and then....

I saw Rob opening the door...

He wanted to come home to be with me, simple as that.

Be with me when it's all sad.

He even came with me to the ultimate chick flick: "Sex and the City - the Movie". I was supposed to see it with a friend, but when he came I convinced him to come along, coz I really wanted to see it, but at the same time didn't wanna leave him at home when he came all the way for me.

So... nothing changed really, I'm still all confused, still sad, still feel insecure.
But.... I feel much more relaxed knowing he's there.

Why am I so sad?

I have the answers to this question.

Not getting in to the program I wanted puts me in a very hard place.
First of all, I have to re-think about what I want to do with my life.
I thought that this program is what I wanted to do.
I thought that this program will make me what I want to become.
I thought that this is what I am interested in.
I thought that this is what is good for me.
I thought that this is what I'm going to be good at.
I thought that this is what I'm going to be.
I thought that this is what I am.

On top of that now, I have to figure out how I'm going to be able to stay here in Germany.
Without studying I'm not going to have a visa.
According to the law I am allowed to learn German one more year, and stay here with that visa.
The problem is that I did already almost all the German levels offered and I only have one more left to do. After that who knows what I'll do.

I hate being hung in the air like that. High and dry.

Don't know who I am anymore.
What I wanna do.
How I'm going to stay in the place I call home?

I'm (left) out

I didn't get in.

This is one of the saddest moments of my life.

The university in Munich didn't accept me.
They said there were many more high qualified applicants.
About a 100. And they only take 30.

This is one of the saddest moments of my life.

I'm so disappointed.

And we have to move there anyway.
Because of me Rob signed a contract for three years to do a PhD there.
I have to move, and I don't want to.
And it's all because of me.

This is one of the saddest moments of my life.

This weekend we're going to look at apartments in Munich.
And I didn't get in.
But I have to move anyway.
And have to find a place to live there anyway.
And have to leave this place in Dresden, which I love so much.

This is one of the saddest moments of my life.

Discovering the value of time

Yesterday I had to do a presentation in my German class. Each one of us had to do one, about something that has something to do with what they're going to study next year. I had to choose a subject in "Education" and I chose "Motivation". I prepared for it quite well and it went really nicely too. I realized (already when I did my first one in the other class I have) that the fact that I have so much experience in teaching and standing in front of a group really helps in life, and not just in these situations.

Since I had to prepare for this, I didn't meet all my girlfriends this week, so I had some time to spend alone. Which was really nice too. Just to realize that I actually do have time to do things, and only coz I insist on meeting 2-3 friends a week (sometimes more) on top of going to yoga twice, on top of uni- that's what makes life so exhausting. But it also helps life look much much nicer.

So now, a week before my German exam (which I'm doing nothing to study for) not having anymore Hebrew lessons (last Sunday was the last one, it's the summer vacation now) I had time to do some arts and crafts, and here's what came out of it:

It's a newspaper holder.



I bought the wooden naked thing in the hobby shop and decorated it myself

and here it is in more details:

and from on top:

Hope I'll do some more things like that in the time I'll have after the exam...

Oh and I still didn't get the answer from Munich.... Hope it gets here next week...

Have a great weekend and week everyone!

Insight about soccer and bikes

I read here on one of the newspapers that there were 13.33 million women who watched the soccer game between Germany and Portugal. This fact is even more interesting when you read the number of male watchers of the same game: 12.81 million. More woman in Germany have watched this game. Isn't that amazing?
When we went to watch a game (usually in pubs or beer gardens) we could see just as many women wearing all kinds of soccer gadgets as men. Women were wearing the German flag on them selves, painted their faces with the flag's colors, and went everywhere to watch the games- just like men did.
Do I sound old and chauvinistic saying that? coz only when I read those numbers I realized how important it became for women. I'm sure it has something to do with the fact that the whole country is in it- and there's this hype around the "Us" in Germany (and in every country I guess). Women want to be a part of the society, and nowadays - this is a way to become one.

About a week ago I rode my bicycle for the first time wearing a skirt. I guess that the male readers just asked themselves: so what??? well, I'll tell you what- it's weird!!! But it felt very free, I must say...

2.5 weeks to go till the end of my stupid German exam (but who's counting?), and I still haven't gotten an answer from the uni in Munich... I'm starting to get nervous. I was never nervous about anything like that in my life (as much as I remember). When???

Nice to write again. Even if it's not much.

one more visit to the stack

I came back from Israel yesterday.
Rob and I flew there together 10 days ago. He went back one day before me.
It was a busy week there, including my grandpa's 80th birthday party (with 100 of his family members), my cousins wedding (with 350 ppl: family and friends), my birthday (with presents friends and so many times in which I forgot that it's my birthday), one holiday (with my dad's family) and a lot of meeting friends (but not enough). I obviously ate too much (Rob calls it the Israel-sickness) and now I need a vacation from this vacation.

Going back to my German class today was really not that great- it's hard to go back on track, especially when you do something just for doing it with no real goal (to remind you I want to study in Munich next year, in English, but don't know if I got in yet- which drives me crazy...)

anyways... I know I'm not the best blogger - but I guess I'm just too tired, and don't have much to say. You know that when I have something to say- I do.

So.... till next time...

Hot Hot Hot

It's 30°c outside. Just thought I should share this piece of information.

Last weekend we were at Rob's parents. His best friend from high-school got married.
His girlfriend (now wife) came from China- and it was really nice to see her again after more than a year.

It was a traditional Polterabend- that's the party the evening before the wedding, and it's called that because 'poltern' means to rumble, to make a lot of noise.

It was a surprise for the couple, and you guys should have seen their faces as they came to the driveway and saw us all there throwing ceramic plates all over the place.

We weren't crazy or anything- it's just the tradition- to break ceramic dishes and make noise. It's suppose to bring good luck. The couple is suppose to clean it all up until the morning of the wedding.

The party was great, lots of nice people, lots of broken dishes, lots of beer and Bavarian food. It was really fun.

The next morning we surprised the couple again- this time Rob's dad came to their house with his old Mercedes, that we decorated before. He was their Chauffeur, and took them to and from city hall. The ceremony itself was normal- but even though it looked exactly like what we imagined it to be- it was very moving.

So now we lost another couple of friends to married life, it seems like it never ends...

This week at school past normally, nothing special. The sun is shining here now, I'm just making a quiche to Rob's request (he's coming home soon) and I hope that I'll be able to take advantage of the hot weather outside.

I'll tell you one thing- when it gets warm in Germany- it gets warm!!!

The worst show in town

Last night we went to the opera.

The opera house here in Dresden is one of the most famous ones, and it's one of the most beautiful buildings I've ever been to. It has been destroyed and renovated a few times because of nature catastrophes, fires and bombing.
So... We had tickets to go next week, to the known opera: "The marriage of Figaro", but then because of the wedding party of Rob's best friend, which is taking place next week at the same day- we had to change the tickets.
I was very disappointed with changing the tickets coz it's known that it's very hard to get them- coz it's always so full. The woman at the desk told us that there's good seats for a modern opera on Friday, and a few other tickets to other operas- but not in very good places. We decided to go to the modern one on Friday (although I wasn't sure it's the best idea- to go to this opera as the first real opera in my life) and so we went yesterday.

It was awful! It was the worst thing I ever watched in my entire life!!! The set of the stage was ugly, the whole thing was too modern (who wants to watch regular people in an opera? isn't the whole idea that the characters are special???) the music hurt my ears and isn't worth enough to be called music, I thought it'll be in Italian coz the woman who sold us the tickets said it's an Italian story, but it was in German, and excuse me - that just sounded terrible! I actually understood a lot of the words (they screen the words on top of the stage) but still didn't get the story, and what I did understand was just so boring and so dry!!!

Of course we left in the middle. It was a waste of time.

Hence, I'll take advantage of the fact that this blog is online and write the following:

"La Grande Magia" - is the worst opera on earth, it's the worst show in town and a waste of your money!!!

That's it. Sometimes writing thing down is such a catharsis!!!

Out of breath

Last week I was sick. I think in the last year in Germany I was sick more times than I've been in the last 5 years all together.

Today we got homework to do- to read the next text in the study book.

It's about stress.

It gives examples how stress can make people sick. It says that there's two kinds of stress: acute stress- that makes us nervous for a short period of time, but can also have effects on us after the stress is over, and chronic stress, which slowly slowly eats us up and ruins our immune system.

I think I'm suffering from the second kind of stress.

I must admit that I don't know why I'm stressed, I mean, I've already decided that I'm not going to study a master program in German, and that I'm only doing this course to get myself a certificate that says that I know German well enough.

So Why does it get to me so much? is it the long hours I spend on sitting in a classroom and feeling that I learn nothing new? Is it the annoying people in class- which I don't really like, coz most of them (not all) are too young and know nothing about life and ask stupid questions? Is it coz my teacher is nice sometimes but sometimes I feel like biting her head off coz she speaks to us as if we're dumb kids?

I don't know why I feel stressed, but I know that I am- by the symptoms: I'm always tired, no matter how much I slept, and I'm really not concentrated in class. I find it really hard to learn something new, and even words I've heard a million times do not stay in my head.

I don't know how to solve this, I hope I won't get too sick. I try to rest as much as I can. I go to yoga twice a week at least (today I canceled coz I was just too tired to go, but went yesterday and going tomorrow), and try to remind myself why I'm doing this at all.

I think that the fact that Rob isn't here half of the week doesn't really help me, coz I don't really have anyone to talk to (on the phone or on skype isn't the same) and tell him how I feel (but if you ask him he'll tell you that we talk about it all day long)...

Hope I'll be better, any suggestions will be blessed.