Facing the wall

In the last 4 days I've been a slave to the new apartment. We put all the lights up (Rob was the main driller, and I was the one who told him how straight things are), and I wanted to paint some walls too. As I told you guys before- Rob's mom gave me some colors and paint, and I was intending to use them- coz they seemed really nice colors. I wanted to paint one wall in the living room in something that looked like a shade of terracotta, so I started mixing the powder with the white paint. But oh my god- it turned out to be pink. At the end- the shade of pink wasn't too bad, and Rob himself said that it's actually nice. So we painted the wall in a shade of pink that we call "antique pink" in Hebrew. The day after that I took some leaves from outside - and made a pattern on the wall with them (Pictures soon), so it actually looks alright now. Needless to say that the moment I realized the wall was going to be pink- I panicked a bit- just like I can panic. The next day I painted the bedroom, only two stripes of two walls, parallel to each other. It looks cool. We went everywhere to look for a cheap but not ugly kitchen, and we found one place that offered what we want. We're still gonna try to get one for cheaper on ebay, and if we don't get it for the price we want- we'll buy the new one.

***

Sometimes I feel a bit mute here. When I walk in the streets alone, I feel as if I can't say anything- coz I don't speak the language. You're probably wondering what's the big deal- coz I've lived in China for a year of my life, and I should have felt the same there, but it's not the case. In China it was obvious to the Chinese that I'm a foreigner. It made things so much easier. It sounds funny that being different on the outside makes things easier- but it's true. This way no one tried to approach me in Chinese, and the fact that I spoke Chinese to them at some point made them appreciate it coz it's so obvious I'm not from there. They would try harder to make me understand (most of the time, obviously there were the annoying ppl that didn't make any effort) from the first moment they saw me. Here it's different. I look like someone that can speak German, just like anyone else here. I've been approached twice already, in the first time I asked the person in German- if he speaks English, he said yes, and that was that, but in the second time, it was when Rob was just next to me, and a girl approached me to ask a question. I had a confused look on my face, and pointed at Rob coz he was just there next to me- luckily she was an intelligent girl and she turned to him and asked him the question, understanding that I don't understand... So this whole situation makes me feel mute. And if you know me just a bit you know that mute just ain't my thing. I depend on language, language is my thing, my strength, the thing that gives me confidence, makes me better than others sometimes. I'm a person of words, words are my best friends, comparing meanings in different languages is my small hobby- and being mute takes all this away. Without being able to express myself I'm not me, I'm not the same person anymore, I can't show ppl exactly who I am. And yes, it gives me motivation to learn the language, but it also makes me feel as if I'm facing a wall. From all sides- there's a wall- a transparent wall I need to break as soon as I can.


***

Tomorrow we're going to Rob's parents' again, and on Monday we're renting a big car to take the rest of the big stuff back here. We're gonna pack it up in the evening and head back here on Tuesday morning. My back already really hurts, gone back to the terrible pain I had last time I came back from China, and this morning I started doing a little bit of Yoga again, and it helped a bit -so I guess I'll do that every morning from now on. In the bag I gave my dad was my Yoga book- and now I kinda wish it was here... But in 2 and a half weeks I'll be in Israel again and I'll try to get in shape again, at least for the sake of my back.
I miss Israel, I've said that here before, but now as time comes to leave here soon, I start understanding that I'll miss Rob very soon after I get there. Haven't decided when I'll come back here yet- but I'm definitely gonna check the flights as soon as I get there, if not coz I'm gonna miss him, then coz of the prices...

Hope to write here soon, peace to you all, and a late happy Independence day to Israel!

Last week living in Shanghai

Where should I start? telling about my last week or about the next week? Logic says that I should start with the last week- so that's what I'll do. By the way- the word 'logic' in Chinese is pronounced 'luo ji' - guess where it came from... How typically Chinese to not have that word...

OK last week... On Wednesday I went to Chinese conversation club again, as I was standing next to the gate- I didn't feel like being there, was too tired mentally, but in the end it was one of the nicest evenings I had here... I was sitting with 3 students- all there for me- speaking Chinese to them. It was fun and we laughed a lot. After that Rob came to meet me there and we went to an Italian restaurant- that had ok food for too much money. The next evening we were invited for dinner with one of Rob's bosses from Germany, and he asked us to choose a restaurant- so this time we chose a good and not too expensive Italian place. That day we also took care of Rob's registration form (I got to go to the police station 3 times just for that). On Friday we were invited for dinner with Rob's colleagues, where he works, in a nice Chinese restaurant. On Saturday we were invited for dinner with Rob's ping pong club friends, as a goodbye party for him in a nice Chinese restaurant close to our place (they were so excited to have him in their club, the manager of the club, a young guy, even gave him a nice present). Conclusion from this dinner: drunk Chinese ppl are funny. That was last week- lots of dinners. This week Rob is having a fare well dinner party in a nice restaurant close to where he works- with everyone from work- hopefully the last big dinner in a while- I'm not used to eating so much anymore! (these Chinese dinners usually contain so much food!!!)

Yesterday we bought a flight ticket to Chengdu, in Sichuan. We're giving back the apartment on Friday evening and our flight is on Saturday. I must say that as much as I'm ready to leave China- I'm tired of moving. In the last 2 and a half years I left and entered apartments about 5 times and I'm definitely tired of it. It's mentally draining. But I have no choice, and now I must move on.

***

We watched "An Inconvenient Truth" last night, Al Gore's movie. I must say that even though I was already convinced by the environmental issue before- this movie showed me just how acute it is.
Yesterday I was reading about the 15 British solders that were kidnapped in Iran- and I thought to myself- damn it! the world is full of bullies as leaders. These leaders don't want us to care if we'll all die in a Hurricane next year, as far as they're concerned, who cares if we'll all be flooded and under water and hundreds of millions of ppl will die??? Most of the world feels that if ppl like Ahmadinejad or Bush or Olmert wanna make us believe that our lives are depended on them- so be it. Let's all fight each other. Why not really. It would be really ironic if we'll all fight and kill each other and one bright day we'll be all under water - just coz we were incapable of looking ahead just one more day. This makes me so furious!!! Especially in China- where you see how little they care about keeping the environment clean. In the big cities they're a bit better, but it's still very very bad... I think to myself- what can I, or anyone for that matter do, to show the ppl in this world that our daily problems are just daily- and if we don't wanna be the ones to kill earth with all its living creatures on it including ourselves- we better change our ways. I think about Israel- the little crazy place I'm from- and I think about all the ppl living there- what they would probably tell me is: 'I have bigger problems now! I need to support my family, and I need to protect myself from the leaders of this world who decided that I'm their little toy on a game board'. From that little spot on earth nobody can see the real danger. The danger is the bullies that make us believe there are no other dangers than the other bully. They keep our perspective very limited- they make us see things in a very narrow way- they make us not look to the sides, only look towards where they want us to look. But the danger is coming from a totally different direction. And it's time we all see it. It's time we realize that we're ruining ourselves, killing ourselves with our bare hands. We must stop blaming other ppl for trying to kill us. We're doing it ourselves.

And here's what we can do to stop global warming, even if just a bit:

Click the picture to see it bigger.
(The information is from the website linked above)

Moods & Music & new plans

Music and moods, they are always together. I guess you can figure out my mood according to the music I play here... But the music is also here coz I love music so much. It's definitely the best way to show how you feel. I think about the fact that a hundred years ago and more- music with lyrics was considered to be music of the little ppl, something unworthy. Now it occupies most of our lives. There's something genius about being able to say whatever you want in a song. How many of you actually listen to the lyrics? I always do... The music itself is just to catch our ear. Then it's the words. The real meaning. It's shouting out: "Listen to me!!!" I love that... I feel anything I have to say about music has been said before. The way it can change your mood, to better or worse. The way it can connect you to the world, or disconnect. Each song has it's own effect. Each rhythm. Each word. Each instrument. Unbelievable.

***

I hate doing nothing. It's not so bad for one day, but more than that... I haven't done anything special in about 3 days and I feel as if I'm trapped between 4 walls. It's like a loop, I can't get myself to get up and do anything. I do everything through the phone- for example, I called and changed my flight ticket -going to Germany on the 17th of April, staying until May 13th and going back to Israel. It seems so final... Now all I have to do is to plan our trip in the last 2 weeks we're here. We decided to not go to Tibet - coz we don't know if the weather is really gonna be nice in April. We both know how it's like to travel when the weather isn't the best- and we prefer spending money on things we will enjoy more. So we decided to go visit Kevin and Wang in Sichuan, travel there for a bit and make our way back to Shanghai through land. I'll have to read about it now a bit to decide on details.

I signed up for a Chinese Conversation Club. It's every Thursday between 20:00 and 21:00 and on Sundays between 15:00 and 16:00. It's really cheap (about 10€ per month) and the purpose is obviously to practice oral language. Today is the first day I'm going, tomorrow I'll let you know how it was...
Plan for the next few weeks: Plan our 2 weeks trip, pack everything and send most to Israel & Germany, go to the gym (I have 11 more times to use on the card), buy all those things I'll regret not buying coz it's so cheap here (like: boots!!!), meet my lazy friends (YES! you too Charles!!! and Liya- where are you???) coz who knows when we'll meet again, enjoy Shanghai (hopefully in good weather coz now it's rather cold...) and... well... finish this chapter of my life. Who knows when I'll be here again (last time I said that I was back in 18 months).

Looooooooooooong weekend

Rob's parents just left... His mom came on wednesday, and I was touring Shanghai with her for 2 days. Then his dad came and we spent the next two days with him too. It was his dad's birthday on Saturday, and we celebrated on Friday night in a good Chinese restaurant (same one we went to for Rob's bday). It was exhausting these last few days. Today we went to Hangzhou again (well for them it was the first time) and for Rob and I it was a really nice day - even though it was raining - coz last time we were there it was raining too with 8 degrees less and fog everywhere. This time we could actually enjoy the nice views. I'll put pictures here soon.
We gave 2 suitcases full of stuff to his paretns - all of our winter wear and some shoes and books- so we have less to take when we leave. We have just a bit of time left here till we go back home in the end of April... Wow time flies...

My computer died AGAIN. I'm losing it- I tell ya. It's so annoying. I'll go to the computer lab tomorrow again. I'm starting to think that I'll need to buy a new one- but I don't really have money for that so... I'll see...


We haven't decided yet what we wanna do in the last 2 weeks- we were thinking about Tibet- but the weather might be still too cold, and we want to enjoy it - and we both know what it is like to travel when the weather is bad. We were thinknig to see some things that we haven't seen in China yet (and there is obviously a lot of it). Rob's new semester starts in the beggining of April- so he doesn't wanna miss too much. I'm gonna try to see if I can change my flight this way that I go through Germany on the way to Israel- for a visit- and to choose our apartment in Dresden together, even though I'm not gonna be there the first few months... We haven't decided on details yet- but I'd like to spend some time in Germany in the summer, and then when Rob's done with his exams - go to Israel for a while and have some fun there in those best weather months.

I'm really tired, will keep you guys posted on the condition of my old computer ;-)